Eliminate Negative Self-Talk

Eliminate Negative Self-Talk

It is estimated that only 8% of the people who set resolutions at the beginning of the new year reach their goal. And, as you’ve probably heard dozens of times, most people have abandoned their resolutions by the end of February. While that may seem disheartening for many, most of these individuals may be able to receive better results with a slight change in the way they think and the way they speak to themselves. 

What is Self-Talk?  

Self-talk is exactly what it sounds like: talking to yourself. It may sound crazy but speaking to yourself, either aloud or mentally, in a positive way can have a significant impact on your everyday life.  

Dr. Masaru Emoto conducted a study that can provide evidence of how positive self-talk can increase your overall quality of life. To perform the study, Dr. Emoto placed equal amounts of rice and water into two jars. One jar was marked happy, while the other is sad. Each day, he opened the happy jar and said: “thank you.” Then he would close the jar and open the sad container to which he yelled, “You idiot!”  

Emoto did this over the span of 30 days. At the end of the month, what Emoto found was that the negative energy caused the rice water to become black and moldy. The water Emoto spoke to kindly, however, showed no signs of fermentation or mold.  

Of course, your body is quite different from a jar of rice water, but the same is true. If you speak to yourself negatively day after day, your body will fill up with toxins that will prohibit you from living a happy, healthy life. On the other hand, speaking to yourself in a positive manner can do just the opposite. It can fill you with optimism, hope, and lead to better overall health.  

You can use self-talk in many other areas of life as well, including those pesky resolutions. Using positive self-talk to reach your goals is simply about changing your mindset around a topic or goal. See how positive self-talk and changing the way you think can impact these common resolutions:  

Lose Weight  

Twenty-one percent of those who set resolutions settle on the overall goal of losing weight. When you think about the idea of shedding some pounds, you don’t necessarily feel great about yourself. Most people are focusing on numbers like pounds, measurements, and even cardio times.  

Instead of focusing on losing weight, consider switching your mental focus to getting healthy. Resolving to get healthy in the new year is more positive than simply losing weight. Instead of focusing on your weight, think about reaching a healthier you. Ask yourself how many times throughout the day you thought about yourself in a positive light, opposed to thinking about your weight or health negatively. Training your mind to think positively can make all the difference in your overall success.  

Get Out of Debt 

About 12% of those making resolutions in 2018 are making financial goals for the year. For many, this includes attempting to pay off massive amounts of debt. While being in debt may be overwhelming, using positive self-talk and changing your mindset can help reach your goals related to debt.  

Instead of saying you want to get out of debt in 2018, consider telling yourself that you are striving to increase your cash flow throughout the year. Earning more cash will undoubtedly help you pay off the debt you have. You should also celebrate your progress. Don’t focus on thoughts like “I still have $20,000 to pay off.” Instead, switch your focus to your successes, like “I’ve paid off $500 of my debt.”  


Fewer than 10% of resolution-makers resolve to de-clutter but many of them are likely thwarted because of the negativity their minds associated with the word this word and concept.   

The prefix de means privation, removal, separation, negation, detract, descent and degrade. Clutter means a collection of things lying about in an untidy mass. Not exactly positive phraseology with the combination of the two.    

If you have ever to clean a closet, garage, attic, the junk drawer…, it is easy to focus on the huge task at hand, become overwhelmed, and quit or procrastinate. Instead of focusing on the clutter, place your focus on getting more organized. When you are working on your things, celebrate small successes. For instance, many people would focus on how much work they have left to do. Change the way you think about it by placing your focus on what you have accomplished. “I have cleared almost half of the garage!” vs. “I still have half of the garage left to de-clutter.”  

To change the way you think about yourself, your goals, and your abundance, you’ll need to address your current patterns. I can help! Schedule a confidential discussion to see how this process works. Contact me via email at [email protected] or schedule a call directly on my calendar. 

The Adversity Agent

The Adversity Agent

With the new year approaching, everyone is looking to overcome adversity and better themselves. The idea of resolving to better yourself in the new year is a great one and further proves that adversity or turmoil in your life can lead to change for the better.

This is especially true within your profession. Sometimes facing a bit of turmoil can wind up providing a meaningful career move in the long run.

In fact, this was true for Hall-of-Fame football player Peyton Manning. While we all know Peyton to be a successful athlete, not every moment in his career has been picture-perfect. Prior to his 2011 season with the Indianapolis Colts, he underwent multiple neck surgeries, forcing him to sit out the 2011 season. The team neglected to play Manning again in the 2012 season in anticipation of signing quarterback Andrew Luck.

After signing Luck, the Colts released Manning. He signed with the Denver Broncos and in the 2013 season shattered offensive records. In 2013, Manning threw 5,477 yards and 55 touchdowns for the Broncos. He was able to recover from serious surgery and push through adversity to cap his career with another Super Bowl win in 2016.

Everything looked like it was over for Indiana Pacers’ Paul George when he was injured during the summer of 2014. Similar to Manning, George faced adversity, got back in, trained hard and focused on what he needed to do to make his dream happen, despite everything that fell in his path. When he returned to play basketball, George was averaging his career-best at 23.1 points a game.

So, how can you be like these athletes and leverage your adversity for change and success?

To overcome adversity and leverage it for success, you need to have the right mindset. What is going on in your mind is essential to your overall success. You will need to change your beliefs about the challenges you are facing. For instance, an athlete not being played may think to himself that he’s not good enough. Having these thoughts weigh you down will prevent you from overcoming this challenge and prevent you from growing and improving.

As you alter your mindset, embrace the changes that come your way. Peyton Manning could have easily ended his career in 2012 and still have been seen as a successful football player. Instead, when the Colts cut him, Manning just rolled with the punches and found a home in Denver. His ability to adapt is what helped him continue his career for another four years.

A huge part of adapting to change is to decide that you are going to stop making excuses for each failure. Instead, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and choose to make your dreams reality. If Paul George made excuses he would have never come back the season after being injured to play the best season of his career. Think about the goals you could reach if you stopped making excuses.

Facing adversity isn’t easy. Whether it is within your profession or your personal life, continuously facing turmoil can wear on you. So, if you have a good day, or if you made some small progress towards your goal, celebrate. It is okay to feel good and acknowledge the things going well in your life.

Finally, one of the keys to using adversity as a springboard for change is to seek support. Having someone to confide in and look to for guidance can make all the difference when you’re experiencing hard times. Let me know how I can help you. We can have a confidential discussion to see if a session would benefit you. Contact me via email at [email protected] or schedule a call directly on my calendar.

Polarities in Opposing Emotions

Polarities in Opposing Emotions

The Arctic and Antarctica sit on opposite ends of the earth. They have striking differences but share many similarities as well. We tend to think of positive and negative emotions in terms of opposites. If we give it some thought, we will find that our opposite emotions have their own similarities. They may be similar in terms of intensity and the opportunity for growth. We have the power within us to direct our emotions through our actions and reactions. We may find ourselves feeling stuck in a negative place out of our comfort when we experience anger, fear, sorrow or grief. Staying in the dark cloud sounds easier than clearing the air. We know we need to clear the air, but don’t always know how.

How do we swing that pendulum of emotion from the negative to the positive?

First, make the conscious decision to acknowledge the pattern of negative energy. We tend to over-focus on how we have been wronged or circumstances leading up to the negative emotions we are feeling. We cling to our understanding of what is fair. The idea of fairness is a fallacy. It is an illusion that keeps us stuck. This way of thinking leads to a state of mind in which we cause our own suffering. It is important to acknowledge the feelings.

When I say feelings, I am not referring to our emotions. A feeling is what follows an emotion. It is your brain’s way of assigning meaning to an emotion and how it will affect your body. Becoming aware of your emotions and feelings, while understanding the difference allows you to determine their root causes. By asserting conscious thought and deliberate action, you will be choosing how you experience these emotions and feelings. This will make an incredible difference and determine whether you live a calm or chaotic life.

How do you want to feel? Consider this thoughtfully: I recommend making a list of tasks or changes you can make to extract yourself from the environment of negativity. This could include changes to your behavior or daily actions. It should include activities that are best-suited to you to relieve you of negative energy, whether that’s singing out loud or a hike in the woods. Meditation will help you return to a tranquil state of being. Treating your body better with exercise and appropriate eating habits are also important to incorporate into your routine of returning to a state of positivity. The purpose of this list is to change your frequency of emotions. Whenever you are confronted with an emotion or feeling that negatively influences your thoughts, force it out of your mind and replace it with a different thought. Imagine a resolution, a fond memory, or something that positively influences your mood. Taking deliberate actions and changing your way of thinking will help you find the right frequency. This allows you to have faith and step away from that dark cloud.

We all go through hard times. We have a choice about whether we want to sit comfortably in negative emotions or take action to remove those expediently when they occur. Every circumstance in our lives, negative or positive, has a higher purpose. It gives us an opportunity to grow further.  By learning to change the frequency of our emotions through the suggestions in this article, we can change our thinking and behavior. We can choose to maintain balance, a sense of peace, purpose, and to persevere towards our goals.

Our emotions and experiences are energy. Energy is atomic matter that has a physical form.  Our emotions and experiences can create energetic barriers, such as a wall, unseen but there preventing the natural exchange of energy.  This phenomena is known as a Heart Wall. I know this may sound a bit like the supernatural, but in fact it is our body’s way of protecting itself from pain. That is something many have experienced: a wall built from the remnants of pain that prevents us from future joy. Many can relate to that happening and know it is real even if you didn’t know it was called a Heart Wall.

If you’ve read this far, something piqued your interest. Something in my words rang true to you. Let me know how I can help. We can have a confidential discussion to see if a Heart Wall session would benefit you. Please contact me at [email protected].

Freeing Trapped Emotions

Freeing Trapped Emotions

It can sometimes seem the world is pushing down and holding our emotions hostage. The constant stream of negative news fires up our outrage and keeps it burning. Anger is often portrayed as wild emotions, uncontrollable—something to avoid. It prohibits us from actively listening to others, thinking logically, and presenting our best self. In the heat of the moment, our reputations can be undermined by anger.

Buddha said, “You’re not punished for your anger; you’re punished by your anger.” Anger is a human emotion. In and of itself, it is not harmful. Like any fire, if you try to contain it, it can consume all of its surroundings. So, the key to managing your anger isn’t locking it inside and denying its existence.

Set it free.

Set the fire free usually means it grows. Firefighters use controlled fires to benefit the forest and the environment around them. Controlling the anger will help you keep a level head as a leader and in life when events ignite your anger. Anger becomes harmful when we hold it in. Grudges ground your spirit. They keep you from moving forward.

Once we learn how to master our anger, we can take the energy produced by our emotions and release them. Holding grudges consumes our energy. That’s energy we can use to fuel our productivity.  Our creativity rejuvenates us. When we control the emotions within us, especially anger, we present our best selves. Not only that, but we reserve enough of our energy to fuel our spirit and our projects. We work productively.

Here are some ways we can control our anger and release the energy. The Mayo Clinic suggests these 10 tips to release your anger.

  1. Think before you speak. Staying grounded by journaling, meditation, and listening to music can help you stay calm so that thinking before you speak in anger is obtainable.
  2. Express your anger. This is the key releasing it.
  3. Get some exercise. Exercise generates endorphins that help you feel calmer and better.
  4. Identify possible solutions. By shifting your focus to solutions, it takes the kindling away from fire. Write down solutions if convenient, or say them aloud to diffuse your anger.
  5. Take a time out. There’s nothing wrong with walking away from the situation. Cooler heads prevail.
  6. Stick with “I” statements to avoid criticizing others. Be specific and respectful when giving feedback. This will avoid blaming others and refocus on the problem.
  7. Don’t hold a grudge. Grudges are emotional anchors and consume your precious energy.
  8. Use humor. Humor defuses tension and is the opposite of anger.
  9. Practice relaxation skills. Practice deep breathing exercises. Write your feelings in a journal. You can even throw it away after you release it in your writing.
  10. Seek help. If at any time, your anger burns out of control, seek professional help with managing it.


Are you reading to commence your next journey? Reach out to me, AmyD, the Peak Performance Expert and Trainer.


Removing the Mask: Pain Management or Addiction?

Removing the Mask: Pain Management or Addiction?

The desire for instant gratification is a part of the human condition. Quick fixes, such as pain relievers that have been in the news recently, mask the original problem without addressing it. The desire to have these problems go away immediately and the reliance on external gratifications systems are leading our country into an epidemic of addictions. When experiencing an injury, typically an individual will go to the doctor.

Seeking help to resolve the pain caused by an injury maybe be the root cause of some cases of addiction. According to the Centers for Disease Control, an estimated 1 in 5 patients with a non-cancer related diagnosis are prescribed opioids in a doctor’s office. Opioids are a class of drugs that interact with nerve cells in the brain and nervous system to produce pleasurable effects and relieve pain. Opioids include several types of drugs: oxycodone, hydrocodone, codeine, morphine, fentanyl and heroin. These drugs relieve physical pain and send a message to your brain that you are no longer injured. That is all an illusion created by the blocked pain receptors. Opioid pain relievers only mask the pain, they do not heal or aid in the repair of the original cause of the pain.

Not everyone who is prescribed a pain-killer or an opioid becomes addicted. However, addictions in general follow this pattern of masking pain, whether that pain is sourced from the physical body or the emotional body. CBS News recently reported that state Attorney Generals are questioning drug companies about how opioids are made and marketed. They are getting fed up with the 12 deaths per day caused by this drug. It’s unlikely that you will meet someone who hasn’t been touched by the effects of opioid addiction. My graduating class alone lost 22 individuals over the years due to this debilitating disease. It’s sad.

All of this begs the question: why are we so accepting of this mask? We know that concealing our pain causes a negative effect on our lives. Masking that pain aggravates our original physical and emotional injuries thus perpetuating the cycle of pain. That cycle spreads to our loved ones and begins to affect other aspects of our life, creating divides in our personal relationships and hindering personal and spiritual growth.

Speak to your doctor or counselor to take the first steps in recognizing the source of your pain and the best steps for healing. In a previous blog post, I discussed how meditation positively impacts your brain. Mindfulness will put you in the appropriate state of mind to face your problems head-on. And if traditional and main-stream methods don’t seem to work for your, consider energetic healing.

Energetic healing or energy work cleanses the body and energies to expedite the healing process for both physical and emotional pain. It works deep to the root of your pain source. While the root of physical maladies is usually recognizable, very often, the root of emotional maladies is not quite so easy to identify. My work with individuals often focuses on peak performance. In the process of reaching that peak, we strip away all of the energetic clutter that is an encumbrance. This same process can help you heal. I want to help you remove the mask and live life full of joy and love. You can learn more about my bioenergetic work on my website and sign up for a session.