In the movie, Yes Man, Carl Allen (portrayed by Jim Carrey), is mired in his negative ways until the day he attends a self-help seminar that teaches the power of saying yes. The results are immediate—new job promotion, new romance, but true to Hollywood form, Carl discovers that too much of anything can be bad for you. The road to happiness is a little more complex than simply saying yes. Still, the concept that giving to others improves your health and happiness is not a screenwriter’s fantasy. Saying yes gives you permission to receive positive energy. It fuels creativity and creates trust and safety amongst others.
In our daily lives, the inclusion of others to create positive interactions begin with saying yes. This does not mean we agree with everything, but we provide affirmation that the person is heard. By simply, nodding or saying, yes, we are passing on positive energy to the speaker. Short phrases such as, “Yes, I hear you,” or “Yes, your words are important,” are positive ways to engage the speaker. Even if we disagree, we should acknowledge value in the speaker’s words. This reduces the chance of speaker becoming defensive. It promotes openness and positive inclusion.
By saying yes, we can also produce positive energy in our everyday lives. When we focus our energy on believing that we can succeed, complete a task, or reach a goal, we are giving our inner selves permission to try. Conversely, no is the beginning of fear. Starting with yes, we are freed from self-doubt and fear. Empowered, we can take the positive energy and reach for our goals.
The power of yes produces positive energy and a sense of value. Just as depicted in the movie, Yes Man, too much of “yes,” can lead to negative consequences such as loss of standards and accountability and a sense of recklessness. This power must be tempered with common sense.
So, go forth and embrace the power of Yes!
Reach out to me, AmyD the Peak Performance Expert and Trainer, if you want to learn how you can harness the power of yes- so that you can be the most effective, focused and driven leader you can be.
Are you a leader who manages people? The answer can determine how effective you are as a leader. Employees aren’t robots. They’re people with feelings and emotions. Emotionally aware leaders balance the day-to-day work and their employees’ engagement. Their success is often a direct correlation with adaptable thinking. According to a report from the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, the benefits emotional leaders receive in the workplace are higher employee retention rates, greater commitment, and better results. In short, an emotional leader is a beacon of light to others they lead.
How can a leader not only navigate the landscape of multiple personalities and emotions, but put it to use? First, it requires decoding emotions and an understanding of visual cues. In addition, the leader will need to be able to communicate differently to individuals based on their personality styles.
Effective leaders incorporate emotion by using these four skill sets:
Leaders who are aware of their emotional state are able to control their egos. Participating in activities that assist in finding mental clarity such as meditation, hiking, reading, or exercising, leaders become more connected to themselves by disconnecting to the world around them. This allows them to look inward for perspective. Leaders who are self-aware also see clearly the strengths and weaknesses of themselves and those they lead. They can perceive emotions and address problems more thoroughly. This clarity helps master egos which is important to leading effectively.
Leaders who are aware of their emotions are better equipped to manage them. When leaders are in control of their emotions, they know how they react to others. They do not fly off the handle or make hasty decisions. Emotional leaders are aware of the impact of their own emotions on others and manage those emotions accordingly. Focusing and practicing being in the present can assist with self-management of emotions. Journaling and paying attention to one’s inner self talk is another helpful means of self-management of emotions.
Leaders who are self-aware and manage their emotions, also have the ability to pick up on others’ emotional cues. This skill is important for impactful leadership. When leaders are socially aware, they are more likely to understand the employees’ point of view and emotional response. They are also able to tailor their feedback based upon their awareness of the person’s emotional state. Leaders do this by watching, listening, and discovering others’ cues.
Leaders combine communication and team building to manage conflict and inspire employees. Clear communication is imperative, but so is understanding and empathy. Employing self-awareness, self-management, and social-awareness assists in achieving the balance within the leaders’ communication. Leaders who employ this style of communication will find it easier to cultivate relationships naturally thus reducing conflict within their team.
As already discussed, emotional leaders are present in the moment. They are connected to their feelings and have a clarity about their purpose. They keep their ego in check. With their connection to self, emotional leaders will be open to others’ emotional states. They can provide support to others whether they are doing well or struggling.
In contrast, when leaders avoid connecting to emotions, they may feel more in control, but it can have a negative impact on the organization. Control is ego driven and does not take people into consideration. As Richard Rose stated, “Ego is the single biggest obstruction to the achievement of anything.”
The Harvard Business Review, Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries talks about four toxic leadership styles. All four are deeply rooted in promoting the leader’s ego. These can be alleviated by being a leader that understands both verbal and non-verbal emotional cues.
- Narcissist. This leadership style involves an inconsiderate and selfish leader who puts their need above others for attention. These types of leaders are prone to belittling others. They are self-centered so everything must be about them. Thus, they are often exploitive.
- Manic-depressive. This leader has a way of swinging back and forth between highs and lows. These types of leaders create an environment of uncertainty. There is no middle ground with these types of leaders. For example, they may draw people to them when experiencing a high. When experience a low, these leaders blame others which comes as a surprise when experienced for the first time. While manic-depression can be an illness, it can also be a leadership style.
- Passive aggressive. This leadership style avoids confrontation even when it is staring them in the face. They express emotions, but only indirectly. With low self-esteem, they may miss deadlines and procrastinate. These types of leaders will undermine projects and blame others. They will become defense when confronted and are often contradictory. They will agree with an idea to avoid confrontation, but will sabotage it one way or another.
- Emotional disconnected. These leaders struggle to read emotional cues of others, and they have a flat manner. They often are matter of fact in their responses and appear apathetic. Their team may view them as detached and caring only about work or the job.
Emotional leaders will need to be aware of their impact on others. Exercising your mind each day to not only remain keen and precise, but also adaptable, as rigid thinking limits your paths to success. Avoiding those four toxic leadership styles will also help strengthen you as a successful leader.
Reach out to me, AmyD the Peak Performance Expert and Trainer, if you want to learn how you can transition to an emotional leader! Email me today, [email protected].
You don’t always get a second chance at making a good first impression. We’ve all heard that before. And that impression is formed in a very short amount of time. Seven seconds, to be exact. This sort of snap decision-making process is a prehistoric leftover from a time when quick situational judgments could mean the difference between life and death. And now the human brain is hardwired to make decisions in this manner. But, how long does it take to form a first impression? And how exactly are we being evaluated?
Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist at Harvard University, has been researching the phenomena of first impressions for over a decade. She has determined that people ask themselves two quick questions upon meeting a person for the first time. “Can they be trusted?” “Are they worthy of respect?” The answers to these questions are determined in a matter of seconds.
Most people are taught to trust their intuition when it comes to gauging people they first meet. In the business world these first impressions are tantamount to success. These impressions are largely based on nonverbal clues. In fact, research has indicated that nonverbal clues are four times more effective than anything you can say. What are some examples of nonverbal clues?
Posture- status and power are often conveyed by a person’s usage of space.
Attitude– people can instantly pick up on attitudes and energies.
Facial expression- smile! Make sure the look on your face reflects the outcome you want from the situation.
Handshake- this can be an indication of confidence and professionalism.
Eye contact- if you cannot maintain eye contact people tend to think of you as shifty, nervous, or just downright rude.
There are many more nonverbal ways to make a first impression. Do you need help honing your nonverbal skills so you can make a lasting first impression? I can help you channel your inner awesomeness, so you will be sure to convey strength and confidence and increase your awareness and intuition for receiving your own first impressions. Just reach out to me at [email protected] or visit my website, AmyD.me!
Harnessing your innate inner power will help you make an impact and achieve the results you deserve!
In a recent video, I talked about the importance of communication in maintaining important relationships. Conflicts arise, but they can just as easily dissipate when both parties come together in agreement over their shared desires- desires for respect, companionship, and above all else love. By opening our hearts to include other people’s needs and desires, we become allies in each other’s success. Together, we become greater than what we ever imagined we could be.
This doesn’t mean that we sacrifice our own desires for another person’s. If someone asks that of us, then we’re probably dealing with someone who isn’t actually invested in a respectful, loving relationship. What it does mean is that if someone communicates their desire to include you in their life, in a positive, respectful and life-affirming way, it is in our greatest interest to accept that with an open heart. And if we start accepting all positive energy into our hearts, no matter the source, there’s nothing that can prevent us from achieving our true destiny.
That’s the point: A truly open heart doesn’t just accept the feedback of other people so it can make it to the next day. It doesn’t just settle for a few steady, functional relationships. It is one which recognizes that every single component in the universeis allied in our longterm success.
An open heart accepts the positive vibrations coming from all sources, not just the ones in your immediate line of sight. You must begin to think of positive communication and conflict resolution as an essential practice for accepting what the entire universe has stored up for you, not just what you can gain from a single person.
Beginning with our loved ones, we can master the way we interact with all elements in a way that is fulfilling and transformative. Once we do that, our success is limitless, all due to the biocentric nature of the universe. By letting go of the boundaries our mind sets for us, which keep us from having compassionate, empathic and joy-filled relationships with others, we’re also able to channel other sources of positive energy. This energy guides us upward, along the path of our highest calling.
Unfortunately, some of us struggle with keeping an open heart. Some of us suffer from a heart wall that prevents us from being able to even articulate our feelings in a way that resolves our interpersonal conflicts. If we can’t even resolve a conflict with our friend, family member, or romantic partner, how can we dismantle the self-established limitations that keep us from connecting with the universe?
If you’re interested in learning how to dismantle a heart wall, or practice having a more positive dialogue with the universe, feel free to set up an appointment with me– AmyD.
Consider interpersonal communication to be the first step in achieving everything you’ve ever dreamed- and more,