The Arctic and Antarctica sit on opposite ends of the earth. They have striking differences but share many similarities as well. We tend to think of positive and negative emotions in terms of opposites. If we give it some thought, we will find that our opposite emotions have their own similarities. They may be similar in terms of intensity and the opportunity for growth. We have the power within us to direct our emotions through our actions and reactions. We may find ourselves feeling stuck in a negative place out of our comfort when we experience anger, fear, sorrow or grief. Staying in the dark cloud sounds easier than clearing the air. We know we need to clear the air, but don’t always know how.
How do we swing that pendulum of emotion from the negative to the positive?
First, make the conscious decision to acknowledge the pattern of negative energy. We tend to over-focus on how we have been wronged or circumstances leading up to the negative emotions we are feeling. We cling to our understanding of what is fair. The idea of fairness is a fallacy. It is an illusion that keeps us stuck. This way of thinking leads to a state of mind in which we cause our own suffering. It is important to acknowledge the feelings.
When I say feelings, I am not referring to our emotions. A feeling is what follows an emotion. It is your brain’s way of assigning meaning to an emotion and how it will affect your body. Becoming aware of your emotions and feelings, while understanding the difference allows you to determine their root causes. By asserting conscious thought and deliberate action, you will be choosing how you experience these emotions and feelings. This will make an incredible difference and determine whether you live a calm or chaotic life.
How do you want to feel? Consider this thoughtfully: I recommend making a list of tasks or changes you can make to extract yourself from the environment of negativity. This could include changes to your behavior or daily actions. It should include activities that are best-suited to you to relieve you of negative energy, whether that’s singing out loud or a hike in the woods. Meditation will help you return to a tranquil state of being. Treating your body better with exercise and appropriate eating habits are also important to incorporate into your routine of returning to a state of positivity. The purpose of this list is to change your frequency of emotions. Whenever you are confronted with an emotion or feeling that negatively influences your thoughts, force it out of your mind and replace it with a different thought. Imagine a resolution, a fond memory, or something that positively influences your mood. Taking deliberate actions and changing your way of thinking will help you find the right frequency. This allows you to have faith and step away from that dark cloud.
We all go through hard times. We have a choice about whether we want to sit comfortably in negative emotions or take action to remove those expediently when they occur. Every circumstance in our lives, negative or positive, has a higher purpose. It gives us an opportunity to grow further. By learning to change the frequency of our emotions through the suggestions in this article, we can change our thinking and behavior. We can choose to maintain balance, a sense of peace, purpose, and to persevere towards our goals.
Our emotions and experiences are energy. Energy is atomic matter that has a physical form. Our emotions and experiences can create energetic barriers, such as a wall, unseen but there preventing the natural exchange of energy. This phenomena is known as a Heart Wall. I know this may sound a bit like the supernatural, but in fact it is our body’s way of protecting itself from pain. That is something many have experienced: a wall built from the remnants of pain that prevents us from future joy. Many can relate to that happening and know it is real even if you didn’t know it was called a Heart Wall.
If you’ve read this far, something piqued your interest. Something in my words rang true to you. Let me know how I can help. We can have a confidential discussion to see if a Heart Wall session would benefit you. Please contact me at Amy@AmyD.me.
It can sometimes seem the world is pushing down and holding our emotions hostage. The constant stream of negative news fires up our outrage and keeps it burning. Anger is often portrayed as wild emotions, uncontrollable—something to avoid. It prohibits us from actively listening to others, thinking logically, and presenting our best self. In the heat of the moment, our reputations can be undermined by anger.
Buddha said, “You’re not punished for your anger; you’re punished by your anger.” Anger is a human emotion. In and of itself, it is not harmful. Like any fire, if you try to contain it, it can consume all of its surroundings. So, the key to managing your anger isn’t locking it inside and denying its existence.
Set it free.
Set the fire free usually means it grows. Firefighters use controlled fires to benefit the forest and the environment around them. Controlling the anger will help you keep a level head as a leader and in life when events ignite your anger. Anger becomes harmful when we hold it in. Grudges ground your spirit. They keep you from moving forward.
Once we learn how to master our anger, we can take the energy produced by our emotions and release them. Holding grudges consumes our energy. That’s energy we can use to fuel our productivity. Our creativity rejuvenates us. When we control the emotions within us, especially anger, we present our best selves. Not only that, but we reserve enough of our energy to fuel our spirit and our projects. We work productively.
Here are some ways we can control our anger and release the energy. The Mayo Clinic suggests these 10 tips to release your anger.
Think before you speak. Staying grounded by journaling, meditation, and listening to music can help you stay calm so that thinking before you speak in anger is obtainable.
Express your anger. This is the key releasing it.
Get some exercise. Exercise generates endorphins that help you feel calmer and better.
Identify possible solutions. By shifting your focus to solutions, it takes the kindling away from fire. Write down solutions if convenient, or say them aloud to diffuse your anger.
Take a time out. There’s nothing wrong with walking away from the situation. Cooler heads prevail.
Stick with “I” statements to avoid criticizing others. Be specific and respectful when giving feedback. This will avoid blaming others and refocus on the problem.
Don’t hold a grudge. Grudges are emotional anchors and consume your precious energy.
Use humor. Humor defuses tension and is the opposite of anger.
Practice relaxation skills. Practice deep breathing exercises. Write your feelings in a journal. You can even throw it away after you release it in your writing.
Seek help. If at any time, your anger burns out of control, seek professional help with managing it.
Are you reading to commence your next journey? Reach out to me, AmyD, the Peak Performance Expert and Trainer.
a very hard word to define. What
I might define as patience may mean something completely different to someone
defines patience as toleration or magnanimity for the faults or
affronts of others; courageous endurance.
Patience, to me, is gentle, quiet, and compassionate. It’s the ability to show kindness and understanding to ourselves and others.
This time of
the year can really test our patience. Everyone is busy making resolutions,
planning for the year ahead, or just trying to get back on track after the
holiday rush. The new year is a great time to look to the year ahead and set
goals. We may even reflect on our accomplishments from the past year. If there
are big changes you want to make this year, this is the perfect opportunity to
practice patience with yourself. Learning something new is not always easy.
Giving yourself grace and patience to figure it out will benefit you in so many
When we find
ourselves losing patience, we need to take a step back and figure out the WHY. Sometimes
when we get frustrated with someone, it may be triggering something inside of
us. Perhaps we need to deal with unresolved feelings from our past. For
example, maybe you had a co-worker who constantly showed up late for meetings.
This made you feel disrespected and now anytime someone is late to a meeting,
you are quick to lose your patience.
One way to improve our patience is to do what I like to call mirror work. The next time you find yourself losing patience, take a moment and ask yourself, “why does this frustrate me?” It’s like looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing you, for you. This may require digging deep and really asking the tough questions. In the example above, you could ask yourself, was that co-worker purposely trying to disrespect you? In all likelihood their inability to show up on time had everything to do with themselves and nothing to do with you personally. It’s time to forgive and let that go. Someone being late to a meeting is not a personal afront to you. Learning to ask these tough questions will be worth it. When you find patience for yourself, you find time to breathe and reflect on what’s important.
Once we learn how to show someone else patience, we can teach them by example. It’s like paying it forward, in a way. So, the next time you find your patience waning, take a step back, look in the mirror and work on yourself. May your patience help you show kindness, compassion, and understanding to those around you.
To find out more about mirror work or learn how to become a more patient you, reach out to me. I can help! Schedule a confidential discussion to see how this process works. Contact me via email at Amy@AmyD.me or schedule a call directly on my calendar.