In the movie, Yes Man, Carl Allen (portrayed by Jim Carrey), is mired in his negative ways until the day he attends a self-help seminar that teaches the power of saying yes. The results are immediate—new job promotion, new romance, but true to Hollywood form, Carl discovers that too much of anything can be bad for you. The road to happiness is a little more complex than simply saying yes. Still, the concept that giving to others improves your health and happiness is not a screenwriter’s fantasy. Saying yes gives you permission to receive positive energy. It fuels creativity and creates trust and safety amongst others.
In our daily lives, the inclusion of others to create positive interactions begin with saying yes. This does not mean we agree with everything, but we provide affirmation that the person is heard. By simply, nodding or saying, yes, we are passing on positive energy to the speaker. Short phrases such as, “Yes, I hear you,” or “Yes, your words are important,” are positive ways to engage the speaker. Even if we disagree, we should acknowledge value in the speaker’s words. This reduces the chance of speaker becoming defensive. It promotes openness and positive inclusion.
By saying yes, we can also produce positive energy in our everyday lives. When we focus our energy on believing that we can succeed, complete a task, or reach a goal, we are giving our inner selves permission to try. Conversely, no is the beginning of fear. Starting with yes, we are freed from self-doubt and fear. Empowered, we can take the positive energy and reach for our goals.
The power of yes produces positive energy and a sense of value. Just as depicted in the movie, Yes Man, too much of “yes,” can lead to negative consequences such as loss of standards and accountability and a sense of recklessness. This power must be tempered with common sense.
So, go forth and embrace the power of Yes!
Reach out to me, AmyD the Peak Performance Expert and Trainer, if you want to learn how you can harness the power of yes- so that you can be the most effective, focused and driven leader you can be.
Part of my life’s purpose is helping high-performing professionals – from CEOs to athletes – discover the abundance and immeasurable success that is right there waiting for them. However, I always encourage my clients to think beyond material wealth and instead think about the holistic, joyful abundance that can be found in every area of a person’s life- including your family. When you practice openness, compassion, empathy and gratitude in one area of your life, you will reap the benefits of such practices in every other area as well.
In this blog post, I’d like to talk about the life-altering benefits of mindfulness and energy work, that will radically transform the relationships you have with your spouse and your children. It is your duty as your family’s protector and provider to be a strong, stable and positive force in their lives. In our increasingly distracted, stressful and busy world, taking those steps to be a better man is crucial.
Men At Risk
Men are, statistically, less likely to seek help for mental illness than women. On a related note, they are less likely to communicate how they’re feeling, much less confront the negative energy that sustains their depression or anger problems. All of this has a destructive impact on those closest to them, especially spouses and children.
The good news is that you can deal with your emotions in a way that sustains and heals ourselves and those most precious to you. Mindfulness has been shown to curb anger and depression by teaching us how to approach our discomforting emotions without judgment, allowing us to not only be more compassionate with ourselves but also increasingly empathetic toward others.
The Benefits of Mindful Living
Studies have shown that men who are mindful are, on average, considered more attractive to women. If you’re struggling to reignite the passion in your marriage, mindfulness can help! As I explained, mindfulness increases your emotional intelligence- your capacity to empathize, listen, and communicate with your partner- which only makes you more honorable and desirable in the eyes of your spouse.
With an increased empathy and emotional intelligence, male partners can be present to their spouses and give them the attention, affection, and acceptance that they need to feel loved. With strong empathy also comes better communication and listening skills. How many divorces occur, because a man wasn’t able to express how he feel or address the issue his wife was having?
Positive Energy and the Needs of Children
To ensure that your children develop into positive, confident, and driven individuals, you must exude energy that is affirming, open and full of joy. Approaching life with a sense of wonder, curiosity, and gratitude (rather than passing negative judgment on the things in your life) will help your children follow suit. This is your responsibility as a father, to be the positive reflection you want to see in the world, and make sure that your children grow up to mirror that same energy- to change the world, to harness their own superpowers for good.
Mindfulness can also help you be a better father. Children are only able to develop into the best versions of themselves if they are given the attention, acceptance, and affection they deserve- every day. By giving them your undivided mindful attention, you are giving them the greatest gift of all: a confident, positive future self.
When you practice mindfulness, your positive energy increases exponentially, creating a ripple effect in your relationships. Your wife and your children will respond in kind, and together you will forge a familial bond based wholly on love.
If you’d like to take your relationships to the next level, please contact me at [email protected]. To become truly elite you must nurture and cultivate those relationships that define you as a father, as a husband, and as a human being.
Mindfulness is often been seen as an exclusively female practice, because it fosters a less conflict-driven response to our emotions and our external world. As someone who teaches mindfulness to highly successful men- from CEOs to professional athletes- I’m here to tell you that such techniques can only strengthen your masculine identity. Some of the most elite individuals, from Steve Jobs to Kobe Bryant, actually credit their abundant success to the art of mindfulness. Here are all of the reasons why you should start practicing mindfulness today.
Mindfulness is not about getting rid of your thoughts, feelings, or perceptions. It’s about being consciously aware of what’s right in front of you, how you are experiencing it in the present moment, and reacting appropriately. For those in fast-paced, high-performance careers, mindfulness prevents your thoughts from wandering, keeping your mind laser-focused on the important task at hand. It’s no wonder Phil Jackson’s coaching methods include mindfulness. It’s what keeps your head in the game.
Strong, impactful leaders like Richard Branson practice mindfulness every single day. It allows them to see the ultimate picture of success that goes beyond material wealth. Mindfulness elevates your energy to a higher vibration that allows you to guide your employees or teammates in a direction that benefits everyone. Think that kind of empathic leadership is too “soft”? Tell that to Steve Jobs whose authoritative energy was matched with a mindful attention toward others that got things done.
Depression, anxiety, anger issues and addiction are among the most debilitating emotional conditions that afflict men in high-pressure leadership positions. Without the self-mastery that mindfulness cultivates, you can fall victim to your own destructive emotions. A Heart Wall can form, preventing you from ever realizing your highest potential in your career and in your relationships. Mindfulness practice, however, is proven to help men react better to high-stress situations so that they tackle problems more wisely and effectively. When you master mindfulness, you master yourself.
Stress-related illnesses impact male professionals at a higher rate than others. Heart disease, high blood pressure, headaches, obesity, diabetes and accelerated aging are all physical ailments related to poor stress management. Mindfulness not only lowers your stress, but will increase your overall physical health by preventing these fatal diseases. Professional athletes, including countless Olympic champions, practice mindfulness to maintain their peak physical performance. The most successful corporate executives also use mindfulness as a defense against mental burnout.
Increased focused, strong leadership, a healthy mind and body… all of these are achievable through mindfulness training. It is necessary to develop the kind of masculine confidence that can elevate you from being the best in your field to the very elite.
Are you ready to get started? Contact me, Amy D the Peak Performance Expert, and we can begin that journey together.
Recently, I’ve talked about the different ways your energy can emanate, particularly if you’re in a leadership position. Today I’d like to discuss how masculine energy functions, and how it can work for and against you.
Masculine energy can be a powerful force for good, a unique vibration that invigorates and enlivens everyone around you. However, some masculine energies can be misdirected, coaxed into servicing a winner-takes-all approach that is unsustainable in the long run.
Some men feel an aggressive urge to compete at all costs, in their professional and personal lives. This ongoing drivenness to do or perform takes a psychic toll, because it doesn’t account for every person’s need for quieter, more contemplative moments. These are moments of reflection, a “time out” during which you can carefully consider the world around you and how to best approach it.
This kind of mindful reflection is an opportunity to truly see your unique destiny as it relates to the world, not just how your individual male ego can best be served by others. The un-enlightened among us will often accuse such acceptance and allowance as”un-masculine,” but when an individual’s masculine yang energy is untamed, it can never achieve the wholeness it so desires.
The ability to stop and reflect, and experience mindful gratitude, is not un-masculine. It is a powerful ability that some of the most successful male leaders have harnessed.
The CEO of Aetna, Mark Bertolini, is an example of a man who demonstrates positive male leadership in the right way through his daily mindfulness practice. Bertolini exudes confidence, knowledge and masculine power because he meditates on the important role he’s been given. He carefully considers the way he can best serve those who follow him, not how he can deplete all his resources in service to himself.
Not everyone has discovered Bertolini’s secret. Some male leaders are overtly aggressive, competitive, and wish to take away other people’s strength through emasculation. They segregate themselves from those who would otherwise support them. They care nothing for collective advancement, and their main goal is merely to protect their own frail ego from criticism.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Society as a whole can celebrate the life-affirming energies of great male leaders like Abraham Lincoln or Dale Carnegie, men who went against the grain to achieve their destinies. These were leaders who converted their masculine energies into a higher goal, who were also able to surround themselves with other people whose strengths were a complement to their own.
If you feel challenged in developing better leadership skills, and would like to learn how to balance your career and your personal life, let’s have an exploratory phone call and see how a few skills from me, AmyD, will create the peace you’ve been looking for.