How to be an Emotional Leader

How to be an Emotional Leader

Are you a leader who manages people? The answer can determine how effective you are as a leader. Employees aren’t robots. They’re people with feelings and emotions. Emotionally aware leaders balance the day-to-day work and their employees’ engagement. Their success is often a direct correlation with adaptable thinking. According to a report from the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, the benefits emotional leaders receive in the workplace are higher employee retention rates, greater commitment, and better results. In short, an emotional leader is a beacon of light to others they lead.

How can a leader not only navigate the landscape of multiple personalities and emotions, but put it to use? First, it requires decoding emotions and an understanding of visual cues. In addition, the leader will need to be able to communicate differently to individuals based on their personality styles.

Effective leaders incorporate emotion by using these four skill sets:

  • Self-awareness

Leaders who are aware of their emotional state are able to control their egos. Participating in activities that assist in finding mental clarity such as meditation, hiking, reading, or exercising, leaders become more connected to themselves by disconnecting to the world around them. This allows them to look inward for perspective. Leaders who are self-aware also see clearly the strengths and weaknesses of themselves and those they lead. They can perceive emotions and address problems more thoroughly. This clarity helps master egos which is important to leading effectively.

  • Self-management

Leaders who are aware of their emotions are better equipped to manage them. When leaders are in control of their emotions, they know how they react to others. They do not fly off the handle or make hasty decisions. Emotional leaders are aware of the impact of their own emotions on others and manage those emotions accordingly. Focusing and practicing being in the present can assist with self-management of emotions. Journaling and paying attention to one’s inner self talk is another helpful means of self-management of emotions.

  • Social-awareness

Leaders who are self-aware and manage their emotions, also have the ability to pick up on others’ emotional cues. This skill is important for impactful leadership. When leaders are socially aware, they are more likely to understand the employees’ point of view and emotional response. They are also able to tailor their feedback based upon their awareness of the person’s emotional state. Leaders do this by watching, listening, and discovering others’ cues.

  • Relationship-management

Leaders combine communication and team building to manage conflict and inspire employees. Clear communication is imperative, but so is understanding and empathy. Employing self-awareness, self-management, and social-awareness assists in achieving the balance within the leaders’ communication. Leaders who employ this style of communication will find it easier to cultivate relationships naturally thus reducing conflict within their team.

As already discussed, emotional leaders are present in the moment. They are connected to their feelings and have a clarity about their purpose. They keep their ego in check. With their connection to self, emotional leaders will be open to others’ emotional states. They can provide support to others whether they are doing well or struggling.

In contrast, when leaders avoid connecting to emotions, they may feel more in control, but it can have a negative impact on the organization. Control is ego driven and does not take people into consideration. As Richard Rose stated, “Ego is the single biggest obstruction to the achievement of anything.”

The Harvard Business Review, Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries talks about four toxic leadership styles. All four are deeply rooted in promoting the leader’s ego. These can be alleviated by being a leader that understands both verbal and non-verbal emotional cues.

  • Narcissist. This leadership style involves an inconsiderate and selfish leader who puts their need above others for attention. These types of leaders are prone to belittling others. They are self-centered so everything must be about them. Thus, they are often exploitive.
  • Manic-depressive. This leader has a way of swinging back and forth between highs and lows. These types of leaders create an environment of uncertainty. There is no middle ground with these types of leaders. For example, they may draw people to them when experiencing a high. When experience a low, these leaders blame others which comes as a surprise when experienced for the first time. While manic-depression can be an illness, it can also be a leadership style.
  • Passive aggressive. This leadership style avoids confrontation even when it is staring them in the face. They express emotions, but only indirectly. With low self-esteem, they may miss deadlines and procrastinate. These types of leaders will undermine projects and blame others. They will become defense when confronted and are often contradictory. They will agree with an idea to avoid confrontation, but will sabotage it one way or another.
  • Emotional disconnected. These leaders struggle to read emotional cues of others, and they have a flat manner. They often are matter of fact in their responses and appear apathetic. Their team may view them as detached and caring only about work or the job.

Emotional leaders will need to be aware of their impact on others. Exercising your mind each day to not only remain keen and precise, but also adaptable, as rigid thinking limits your paths to success. Avoiding those four toxic leadership styles will also help strengthen you as a successful leader.

Reach out to me, AmyD the Peak Performance Expert and Trainer, if you want to learn how you can transition to an emotional leader! Email me today, [email protected].

How Do You Stand Up As Your Family’s Protector?

How Do You Stand Up As Your Family’s Protector?

Part of my life’s purpose is helping high-performing professionals – from CEOs to athletes – discover the abundance and immeasurable success that is right there waiting for them.  However, I always encourage my clients to think beyond material wealth and instead think about the holistic, joyful abundance that can be found in every area of a person’s life- including your family. When you practice openness, compassion, empathy and gratitude in one area of your life, you will reap the benefits of such practices in every other area as well.

In this blog post, I’d like to talk about the life-altering benefits of mindfulness and energy work, that will radically transform the relationships you have with your spouse and your children. It is your duty as your family’s protector and provider to be a strong, stable and positive force in their lives. In our increasingly distracted, stressful and busy world, taking those steps to be a better man is crucial.

Men At Risk

Men are, statistically, less likely to seek help for mental illness than women. On a related note, they are less likely to communicate how they’re feeling, much less confront the negative energy that sustains their depression or anger problems. All of this has a destructive impact on those closest to them, especially spouses and children.

The good news is that you can deal with your emotions in a way that sustains and heals ourselves and those most precious to you. Mindfulness has been shown to curb anger and depression by teaching us how to approach our discomforting emotions without judgment, allowing us to not only be more compassionate with ourselves but also increasingly empathetic toward others.

The Benefits of Mindful Living

Studies have shown that men who are mindful are, on average, considered more attractive to women. If you’re struggling to reignite the passion in your marriage, mindfulness can help! As I explained, mindfulness increases your emotional intelligence- your capacity to empathize, listen, and communicate with your partner- which only makes you more honorable and desirable in the eyes of your spouse.

With an increased empathy and emotional intelligence, male partners can be present to their spouses and give them the attention, affection, and acceptance that they need to feel loved. With strong empathy also comes better communication and listening skills. How many divorces occur, because a man wasn’t able to express how he feel or address the issue his wife was having?

Positive Energy and the Needs of Children

To ensure that your children develop into positive, confident, and driven individuals, you must exude energy that is affirming, open and full of joy. Approaching life with a sense of wonder, curiosity, and gratitude (rather than passing negative judgment on the things in your life) will help your children follow suit. This is your responsibility as a father, to be the positive reflection you want to see in the world, and make sure that your children grow up to mirror that same energy- to change the world, to harness their own superpowers for good.

Mindfulness can also help you be a better father. Children are only able to develop into the best versions of themselves if they are given the attention, acceptance, and affection they deserve- every day. By giving them your undivided mindful attention, you are giving them the greatest gift of all: a confident, positive future self.

When you practice mindfulness, your positive energy increases exponentially, creating a ripple effect in your relationships. Your wife and your children will respond in kind, and together you will forge a familial bond based wholly on love.

If you’d like to take your relationships to the next level, please contact me at [email protected]. To become truly elite you must nurture and cultivate those relationships that define you as a father, as a husband, and as a human being.